I Never Meant It
by i-luv-kyo
Summary: InuYasha says something to Kagome that he later regrets. Can he fix things before it's too late?
1. The Beginning

Disclaimer: This is the ONLY chapter I'm putting this on! It kills me inside to say this, but none of the characters in this story belong to me... cry

Chapter 1: The Beginning

"Hey InuYasha!" Kagome chirped happily. InuYasha growled slightly and commenced looking extremely annoyed. "What do you want, wench?" Kagome's face fell slightly at the less-than-warm greeting from her hanyou friend. But her bright smile soon returned when she realized that InuYasha was just being, well, InuYasha. "Just letting you know that I'm back..." With that, Kagome raced off in the general direction of Kaede's villiage to greet the others.

Sango was the first one to see her coming. She smiled brilliantly and hugged the younger girl. "You're finally back!" she cried excitedly. Just then, a small ball of fur came hurtling through the air. Kagome laughed as Shippo hugged her tightly. She gently set him down and turned back towards her friend. "Shall we head back to the villiage? It's getting dark..." "Yeah. Why don't you go get InuYasha?" Sango suggested. "Maybe I should..." Kagome said as she started to walk away.

InuYasha was too lost in his thoughts to notice the approaching familiar scent. Random thoughts drifted through his mind. Kikyo, Kagome, their quest, the impending end, the wish he was to make... He was abruptly brought back to the real world when he heard Kagome calling his name softly from somewhere beneath him. InuYasha composed his expression into one of pure annoyance before jumping down to see what she wanted with him. "InuYasha, you should come to the hut now. Dinner is almost done. It's your favorite!" The happiness in her voice was too much for InuYasha, who had been deep in his not-so-pleasant thoughts. He snapped.

"Leave me alone, wench! I would have been perfectly fine without you!" he shouted. 'Sensing' a fight, InuYasha braced himself for the long string of sits he knew was coming. "You would still be pinned to that tree by Kikyo's arrow if it wasn't for me!" Uh-oh. She was really angry. "Someone else would have come along eventually! Maybe someone I wasn't BOUND to by this STUPID NECKLACE!!!" Then again, so was InuYasha...

"And anyway," he started before she could speak, "Kikyo was much better than the likes of you!" He shut his mouth quickly. He hadn't meant that, but it was too late to take it back... or was it? "Kagome-" InuYasha started, only to be cut off by said girl. "No." Just one simple word, but it cut him to his core. In his mind, it was a sign that she was rejecting him and everything they had been through. It was a sign of refusal. "At least she didn't go running off and getting attacked by demons so often! Maybe you should just go home and kill yourself or something! Save some demon the trouble..."

InuYasha smelled the tears before he saw them, as Kagome's head was down. When she looked up her eyes looked so fierce and yet so calm that he took a step back, away from her. "Maybe I will." Her voice was like ice, chilling his very bones. "But first," she continued rather curtly, "sit." She turned and ran.


	2. Myoga's Visit

Chapter 2: Myoga's Visit

Sango, Miroku, Kaede, and Kirara looked on from the shadows of tall trees as the girl ran. They were appalled at this strange conversation and at InuYasha's lack of consideration in saying such a thing. Not intending to be noticed, the four quickly retreated to the hut on Kirara's back.

InuYasha, already in a bad mood from his and Kagome's argument, was further angered by the looks he was receiving from his companions. He had barely been in the hut for five minutes! No one would speak to him. Every time he tried to ask what was going on, one would just shake their head at him with a forlorn expression identical to the others'. Once in a while, a small sob would escape the taijiya. InuYasha, wearing a very confused and annoyed expression, exited the hut, tired of the lost and forsaken stares.

Almost automatically, he went to the Goshinboku. Leaping high into its concealing branches, InuYasha's mind receded into thought. Unbidden, thoughts of Kagome jumped to the forefront. He shook his head. Nothing was wrong. They were just in one of their usual fights. She'd be back in a few days... Somehow, nothing would reassure the hanyou.

Soon after InuYasha left, Sango broke down. Sobbing into Miroku's shoulder, she wondered when InuYasha would realize the depth of the words exchanged between the two. "Why?" she whispered to no one in particular. Miroku hugged her closer, though not pervertedly. This was no time for that.

Myoga, unnoticed in his little corner of the hut, shook his head sadly. This would take a lot of patching over... He left to find InuYasha.

InuYasha, high up in his tree, sensed Myoga before he saw him. Not unusual. He is, after all, a flea. After the customary greeting of a bite and a squish, they got down to business. "What do you want?" InuYasha asked rather rudely. Myoga crossed his arms and did his best to cover up his worry with annoyance. It didn't work very well. The flea demon sighed and uncrossed his arms. He'd have to do it eventually - might as well get it over with. "InuYasha," he began detrimentally, "there's something you need to know..."


	3. Reality Sinks In

A/N: I don't know what genre this would be considered! If you have any ideas, please let me know!

Chapter 3: Reality Sinks In

"Lord InuYasha! Lady Kagome is in great danger!" "WHAT?!" InuYasha cried incredulosly. "Why?!" Myoga sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. I can't tell you exactly why. I suggest you ask your companions..." Myoga trailed off as he realized that InuYasha wasn't there anymore.

Sango and Miroku were abruptly startled out of their charming moment when InuYasha burst into the hut. "Spit it out!" he rudely demanded of the two. Genuinely confused, the two simply stared at the inu hanyou before them. InuYasha looked from Sango's face, to Miroku's, and back again. Losing his patience, he shouted, "Tell me!" That was when Sango lost it. "You jerk!" she shouted. "I hope Kagome never comes back just so you can suffer! After what you did to her, I hope you die!" The taijiya then proceeded to attempt to beat InuYasha into the floor of the hut with Hiraikotsu. Miroku and Kirara quickly rushed forward to restrain her before any serious harm could be done. After the hysterical girl had calmed down somewhat, they released her - but they still kept her giant boomerang far away from her... Miroku looked at Sango in the same instant that Sango looked at Miroku. The monk nodded resignedly. They would have to tell him sooner or later.

Kagome sighed, looking at the letter she had just finished writing. She read it over silently once again.

_Dear Everyone,_

_I'm sorry. I never meant for things to end this way. First, to my family in this time. I love you all. Do not blame yourselves. Sota, do well in school. Mom and Grandpa, I love you forever! Do a good job raising Sota._

_Now, for the hard part. My family from the past. Shippo, you probably won't understand this. That's okay. Just remember that I will always love you. Sango. You were like the sister I never had. I know this must be hard for you, and I'm sorry. Tell him! Miroku, you were perverted at times, but very kind as well. I know you secretly love her! You had best tell her, before it is too late. Kaede, you were my mother away from home. I love you so much!_

_InuYasha... I don't really know what to say to you. I guess I should apologize. After all, it's my fault you've been stuck with me all these years. But I'm sure you can complete the jewel even without me... You were always telling me how weak and pathetic and annoying I was. I guess I finally realized that all of that was true. Even now, in my final moments, I am weak. And I suppose I should thank you. For what? Well, for giving me this idea, for one. And for letting me travel with you. Those were the best times of my life. I'll miss them greatly. And finally, there's something I need to tell you... InuYasha, I know you won't return the feeling, but I love you. I hope you will be happy._

_Everyone, I love you dearly. I hope you will be able to move on with your lives. Mom, I would like you to be the one to tell InuYasha. I was also hoping that you could arrange for them to get at least a copy of this letter. And please, if at all possible, bury my by the Goshinboku. That's where I first met InuYasha, and it holds a very special place in my heart. Good-bye now._

_Love,_

_ Kagome_

Her nose wrinkled in disgust. 'I can't believe I wrote this!' Kagome sighed yet again. Oh, well. It really wouldn't matter in a few minutes, anyway.

Miroku was the first to break the tense silence. "InuYasha, think back on what you said to Lady Kagome." It was InuYasha's turn to look confused. "What does that have to do with anything?" Miroku sighed. "Everything." Sango burst into tears again, and InuYasha was once agian appalled. Rarely if ever did the taijiya cry, much less out loud... Something must be really wrong. "Just think," Miroku commanded him softly. "You will find the problem shortly." He turned to the sobbing Sango and whispered words of comfort in her ear. InuYasha quickly left the hut, already beginning to replay their earlier conversation in his mind.

_"Leave me alone, wench! I would have been perfectly fine without you!" he shouted. 'Sensing' a fight, InuYasha braced himself for the long string of sits he knew was coming. "You would still be pinned to that tree by Kikyo's arrow if it wasn't for me!" Uh-oh. She was really angry. "Someone else would have come along eventually! Maybe someone I wasn't BOUND to by this STUPID NECKLACE!!!" Then again, so was InuYasha..._

_"And anyway," he started before she could speak, "Kikyo was much better than the likes of you!" He shut his mouth quickly. He hadn't meant that, but it was too late to take it back... or was it? "Kagome-" InuYasha started, only to be cut off by said girl. "No." Just one simple word, but it cut him to his core. In his mind, it was a sign that she was rejecting him and everything they had been through. It was a sign of refusal. "At least she didn't go running off and getting attacked by demons so often! Maybe you should just go home and kill yourself or something! Save some demon the trouble..."_

_InuYasha smelled the tears before he saw them, as Kagome's head was down. When she looked up her eyes looked so fierce and yet so calm that he took a step back, away from her. "Maybe I will." Her voice was like ice, chilling his very bones..._

That was as far as he needed to recall. Muttering enough curses to make a sailor wince, InuYasha redirected his course to the well, hoping he wasn't too late.


	4. Intentions Discovered Prematurely

Chapter 4:Intentions Discovered Prematurely

Kagome finished folding up her good-bye letter. Now, where to put it? She suddenly smiled as she thought of the best place for it. Kagome hurried off in the direction of the well house.

InuYasha smelled Kagome walking towards the well. He was about to confront her, when he noticed that she was carrying something. Silently, he moved into the shadows and hid, making sure that he could still see her. He watched as she laid a folded piece of paper down on the rim of the well. She opened her fist and placed something on top of the paper. InuYasha nearly jumped out of his skin when she spoke, afraid that she had discovered him. But no, the girl still had no idea he was there. "Well, everyone, I guess this is good-bye..." she trailed off, and InuYasha caught the faint scent of tears. A few moments later, Kagome continued. "I will miss you all very much. I hope you can forgive me..." Moments after she had left, when he deemed it safe, InuYasha came out of hiding. He walked directly to where she had laid the objects. It was then that he noticed the Shikon jewel was among them.

Kagome sighed wistfully as she turned and walked back towards the shrine. She sensed a demonic presence, but deemed it a figure of her imagination. After all, demons didn't exist in her time, and the only demon who could get through the well was InuYasha. He wouldn't be here. She shook her head. Of course he wouldn't be here! Kagome smiled sadly. Why would he care enough to come after her?

InuYasha picked up the piece of paper and carefully unfoled it. When he read what was on the paper, he nearly howled with grief. He fled the well house, leaving the letter to flutter to the floor. As quickly as his legs would carry him, he rushed towards the main house.

Kagome smiled vacantly as she stared at the gleaming knife. She caught sight of her reflection in it, and snorted in disgust. Her face was tear-streaked, her cheeks flushed. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her eyelashes were still damp with tears. No wonder InuYasha always said she was weak! Kagome sighed. It just figured that her last thoughts would be of her beloved hanyou. She placed the knife gently against her forearm. With one last hopeful glance at her window - though hopeful for what, she didn't know - she made the first cut. The physical pain was like an antidote to all the pain she had felt over the past few years emotionally. She moved slightly lower, closer to her wrist, and sliced again. Kagome grinned desolately as she watched the red liquid drain out of her. This was better, much better... She moved the knife to her wrist to make the final slice.


	5. Final GoodByes

Chapter 5:Final Good-byes

InuYasha's nose twitched as the scent of Kagome's blood heavily permeated the air. He sped up, once again hoping that he would make it to her in time...

Just as Kagome was about to make the final slice, she heard something tapping at her window. She stood, still holding the knife, to open her window and see what was bothering her in this precious time of hers. When Kagome pulled back the curtains, she gasped and quickly took a step back. For there, perched on the branch outside her window, was a certain hanyou. InuYasha...

Tired of waiting for her to unlock her window, InuYasha broke the glass with his fist. He winced as some of the glass shards hit Kagome, but she didn't seem to notice. Then again, she was bleeding badly already... "Kagome!" Said girl laughed mirthlessly. "Well, since you're here anyway, I may as well tell you in person." She placed the knife on her wrist. "I don't know when I first started to develop these feelings, but somewhere along our journey, I fell in love with you." InuYasha tried to speak, to say something, anything, but Kagome cut him off. "It's too late, InuYasha. Even if you could save me physically, there is no way to undo the emotional torment I have gone through these last few years. I love you InuYasha, and I want you to be happy. By doing this, Kikyo's soul will be returned to her. Then you can be happy with her on earth, not in Hell. Just one thing, don't blame yourself. This was my choice." She smiled wistfully. "Thank you for showing it to me." Without warning, Kagome sliced her wrist deeply.

Sango felt a pang of hurt deep in her chest. Without any warning to the monk, she began sobbing against his shoulder. Awkwardly, Miroku rubbed small circles on her back. It was a small comfort at best. "What's wrong?" he asked softly. Between sobs, Sango managed to reply. "Kagome-chan..." That was all she managed before she was once again overcome by tears. "Shh..." Miroku quieted her. "Kagome-sama will be just fine." "No!" Sango cried, "You don't understand!" Yet again, she dissolved into tears. When she was in control of herself once more, she continued. "Kagome is hurt! Badly... I can feel it." "Shh... It's just your imagination. She is going to be fine." "No, she's really hurting, and InuYasha is just going to make things worse!" Sango took a deep breath. "Oh, Kagome! Why didn't I stop her?!" Miroku had no answer, so he simply held her as the sun began to rise.


	6. The Past Returns

A/N: I'm back! Now that school has started again, I might not be able to post a chapter a day like I have been. Sorry!

Chapter 6:The Past Returns

InuYasha nearly screamed as Kagome cut herself for the last time. The momentary look of pain that flashed through her eyes was enough to kill him. He didn't die, of course. He still had to save Kagome! While he was lost in his thoughts, the girl in front of him began to wobble. Just as InuYasha was coming out of his thoughts, Kagome fell. He quickly rushed forward and caught her in his arms. Her eyes were closed peacefully and he was suddenly afraid that he was once again too late. He was always too late! InuYasha cursed himself as memories raced through his mind.

_He smelled her blood. The hanyou ran off in the direction of the scent. When he arrived, Kagome was bleeding badly, and her breathing was labored. InuYasha ran to her as fast as he could and lifted her in his arms. "Kagome!" he said, gently shaking her. When her eyes didn't open, a wave of intense fear hit him. She was dead, and it was all his fault._

Of course, he mused to himself now, she hadn't died then. He had gotten her to Kaede in time. But just barely...

_InuYasha made one final slash at the demon, killing it. "Kagome!" he called out. "Where are the shards?!" When he received no answer, he turned around. What he saw made him freeze. Kagome was resting up against a tree, her left arm bent behind her at at strange angle. At least it's not her bow arm... InuYasha immediately berated himself for thinking like that. That didn't matter right now. All that mattered was that Kagome was alive and breathing. But he didn't hear any breath coming from her..._

She'd been fine that time, too. Just passed out. InuYasha clenched his fist. He could have prevented that, too.

_The smell of her blood permeated the air. InuYasha raced towards the well. It was, after all, the origin of the scent. As he was about to jump into the time portal, he saw a pale hand grasp the edge of the well. Kagome was trying to pull her injured self up! InuYasha quickly reached out to help her. _

Cutting short his lapse into memory, InuYasha scooped the bleeding and passed out Kagome in his arms and ran towards the well.


	7. Surprising Words

Okay, I don't like it when people do this either! But I just want to let JediK1 know that the memories in the last chapter weren't from episodes or from other stories I wrote. I just thought of them as I was typing. At least, I don't _think_ they're from episodes...

Chapter 7: Surprising Words

Sango was slightly appalled as InuYasha burst into the hut, carrying a red bundle. She was even more confused when he ordered Kaede to "Help her!" Only when Kaede had convinced InuYasha to set down and unwrap the bundle did Sango finally understand what was going on. She gasped as she saw a very bloody Kagome, still holding a knife in her right hand. She rushed over, only to be held away by a growling hanyou.

"Don't go near her!" he snapped, causing Sango to flinch. Miroku chose that time to enter the hut.

"What's going on?" he asked, genuinely confused. Sango throwing herself into his arms and weeping only served to confuse him more... Kaede shooed all of them outside, instructing them to take the somehow still sleeping Shippo with them.

"What happened?" Miroku asked once they were safely outside and the hut door was closed. His only response was Sango's continual sobbing. He pulled her into his arms, though not pervertedly, and comfortingly rubbed small circles on her back. When her crying had subsided somewhat, he asked again. "What happened to Lady Kagome?" Sango somehow managed to answer coherently.

"InuYasha... hic went to... her time... and he came back... with her... like this..." Sango trailed off as she disolved into a sobbing fit once more. Miroku turned angry eyes on the hanyou.

"This is all _your_ fault!" he hissed viciously. InuYasha slowly raised his eyes to meet the monk's. Miroku was visibly startled at the look of pure sorrow in his amber orbs.

"I know," he said softly, almost too softly to reach Miroku's ears. "If-_When _she wakes up, could you tell her that I'm sorry?" With that said, InuYasha raced off into the forest, leaving the other four in a stunned silence. Since when did InuYasha apologize?


	8. Awakening

Chapter Eight: Awakening

Voices... They were speaking, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. It was just mumbled words, slurred together. Occasionally, a short phrase could be made out, but they didn't make sense.

"...going to be okay?"

"When... wake...?"

"Feh!"

That voice! So familiar... But from where?

"Kaede... she... okay?"

That voice as well! That was... that was... that was Shippo's voice! That must mean she was in the past. How did she get here?

"She moved!"

That triumphant voice could only belong to one person... Sango! She struggled to open her eyes and finally succeeded. At once, four people rushed over and started bombarding her with questions - none of which she had answers to. Instead of answering, she asked "What happened?" The room was instantly silent, and she couldn't help but wonder why... Finally, Miroku spoke. "You really don't remember?" When she shook her head, he looked to Sango, as if trying to communicate silently. Apparently understanding, she nodded and Miroku turned back to Kagome. "You almost died."

"What?! How?" was Kagome's immediate reaction. Miroku fidgeted. "Well, you see... um..." Sango stepped in. "You... ah... erm... well, you know what I'm trying to say!" Actually, she had no clue. When she only looked confused, Kaede sighed and decided to explain. "Child, you made an attempt on your own life." Kagome looked shocked for a moment, then smiled calmly. "Yes, I did, didn't I?" When she gave no further reaction, Sango exploded. "How can you take this so lightly?! You could have died! You're lucky InuYasha got there in time, or you would be dead right now!" Kagome started. This was weird... And speaking of InuYasha...

"Where's InuYasha?" she asked innocently. Miroku's turn to answer... "Well, you see, he's... um... out..." "That's so very thorough!" Kagome replied sarcastically. Miroku flinched slightly, though he didn't show it. "InuYasha is having emotional problems right now..." "And?" Kagome questioned, becoming impatient. "Well, he hates himself for doing this to you... He thinks it was his fault." "Well, it was!" Kagome suddenly burst out. "He did this to me! And you know what? I don't care anymore! He can go to hell with Kikyo! In fact, I _hope_ he goes to hell! I hate him! Why couldn't he have just let me die?! Everything else was taken away from me, is my right to make my own decisions also gone?! Huh? Answer that!"

Outside, InuYasha fled after hearing Kagome's rant, tears streaming down his face.


End file.
